Normally, when I write, I try to first connect so that I can “speak” from a place of higher understanding. The other day I did not. Not fully. I even admitted that in my post. I wrote, “I thought very hard about this and I believe the answer is a simple one: let it go.” Sometimes “thinking” is the problem when it comes to big issues. We trust our logical, very intelligent ;), heads rather than the whisper that comes from our hearts. Well, since I wrote that blog, I have had neck and upper back/shoulder pain that…well, really hurts. And I don’t like not being able to turn my head without that jab of pain, so I am thinking that I am meant to go back and truly listen.
I believe that what I was missing was a crucial step. One that I have spent a lifetime working on. Speaking up. Talking about the problem, trying to work it out, expressing how I’m feeling and trusting that that person will not love me any less for having these feelings or opinions. Maybe, in fact, “letting go” and forgiving has a crucial place, but in my zeal to avoid the part of the lesson that is most difficult for me, I skipped the part before letting go: communicating. And here’s the key…it actually works better if you communicate from a place of calm, from your heart. Issues don’t get resolved when you wait for everything to come to a head and then lay it all out on the table with extra helpings of anger and defensiveness on the side. Instead, everyone leaves the table with sadness in their hearts and truly nothing gets resolved. Just brace yourself for that next dinner party when the same exact menu is served.
So here’s a toast to communicating. To clearing the table and making room for some new menu items to discuss. Hopefully at our next dinner party we won’t be showing up with the same foods that we know nobody likes 🙂