Sticks and Stones…

 My mom always says that this little rhyme is completely false. I tend to agree. After all, bones can heal. Our physical bodies can heal. But the words that people say to us, whether intentionally unkind or not, leave scars.

I thought that once I got the big picture, once I had a handle on these amazing universal truths, the words of others would no longer have the same effect. Unfortunately, I thought wrong. Yes, I might now understand why someone says the things that they do or why someone behaves the way that they do, but that doesn’t always make it better. The pain is still there; the hurt remains.

So how do I release these feelings rather than allow them to begin decomposing me from the inside out? I have thought very hard about this and I believe that the answer is a simple one: let it go. Afterall, what do you change by continuing to think about it? Does thinking about it or even approaching the person change the words that were said? Absolutely not. It could give you clarity, it could make it feel a little better, but I can guarantee that those words are still in the back of your mind (or in your heart) and you will use them as justification as to why you need a wall or a shield in the future when dealing with that person. But that’s not healthy either. Building walls to keep us “safe” only keeps us from truly experiencing the amazing things that come from having meaningful relationships with people. Let it go. Holding on, thinking about it only does one thing: it makes you feel bad. I’m not saying letting go is easy. I’m just saying that truly forgiving does not necessarily entail an apology from the other person. Truly forgiving takes only one person: you. So today that is what I’m working on. Truly forgiving and letting go. Wish me luck!